A starter guide to anal play (revisited)
The version I’d hand a friend — including what I expected the first time, what actually happened, and the one thing that makes or breaks it.
Almost every "anal beginner guide" online reads like it was written by a press release. Here’s the practical version, including the part where my expectations and reality didn’t match.
What I expected vs what mattered
I expected the size of the toy to be the thing that mattered. It wasn’t — not even close. The thing that actually decided whether a first experience was good or a hard "never again" was lube and pace, in that order. The first time I rushed it and underused lube, it confirmed every nervous assumption I had. The first time I did it slowly with far more lube than felt reasonable, all of those assumptions turned out to be about technique, not the activity.
Lube. Then more lube.
Water-based is fine. Silicone-based is better here because it stays slick far longer — as long as your toy isn’t silicone. Whatever you think is enough, it isn’t. This is the single biggest difference between "good" and "nope."
Pjur Original Silicone
The benchmark silicone lube. Lasts forever, great for shower use. Don’t mix with silicone toys.
Start with a trainer set
Three sizes, start with the smallest, do not skip ahead because the small one felt easy. The Doc Johnson set is the one I keep coming back to — cheap, body-safe, three flared bases, no intimidating packaging. It’s the one I’d hand past-me.
Cheap, body-safe, three sizes, flared bases. The "I wish I’d started here" pick.
Doc Johnson Mood Naughty 2
Three-piece silicone anal training set. The kit I recommend to anyone curious.
When you’re ready, the Snug Plug is the next stop
Built for longer wear, weighted so it sits differently, comfortable enough to genuinely forget about. This is the "the trainer set worked and I want the next thing" purchase, not the first one.
B-Vibe Snug Plug 2
Weighted, wearable plug designed for long-wear comfort. The "go-to" plug recommendation.
The whole guide is really just: it’s a technique problem, not a nerve problem, and the technique is "slow and very well lubed." Everything else is detail.
Alternatives
| Product | Price | Rating | Retailer | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
Doc Johnson Mood Naughty 2Three-piece silicone anal training set. The kit I recommend to anyone curious. | $32 | 4.3/5 | PinkCherry | Check price |
B-Vibe Snug Plug 2Weighted, wearable plug designed for long-wear comfort. The "go-to" plug recommendation. | $65 | 4.7/5 | PinkCherry | Check price |
 Lovehoney Mood Beginner Anal TrainerEven cheaper than the Doc Johnson set. Solid for absolute beginners. | $25 | 4.1/5 | PinkCherry | Check price |
